I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
