no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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