It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
