It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize