You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
