i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
