i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
