I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
