The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
