God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
