I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
