Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
