NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
