Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize