i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
