If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You are a genius and a whore.
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