so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
