guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
