She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Mom said you looked used
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
