Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
