These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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