I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
