There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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