Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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