Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
