You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
