i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
