maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
