Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
