if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
