i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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