she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
