im drinking this country out of the recession.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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