were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
