Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
