you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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