I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There r osticjed everywhere
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
