I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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