we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
