I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
