Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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