felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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