well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize