Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
