4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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