Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
