it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
