I must be too annoying 4 u.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
