At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Alive.
So much puke
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize