Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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