He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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