Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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