so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
