bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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