I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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