I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
