that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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