I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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