Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
