well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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