just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
