In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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