How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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