the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize