nut hugger
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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