How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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