She is in my trunk
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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