I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
