dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
