good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
