im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I could fuck to npr.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
