I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
