So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
