is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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