how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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